Chores? What's that?

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

I love being an adult, I love having kids, I love being a student & I love my job...

I, however, despise household chores.

Last night was a break through moment in my house. I took out trash (in case you didn't know, after sitting in a can outdoors for almost 3weeks, trash stinks BAD), Mowed the half of my hay field -- I mean my yard that was 3 feet tall, and well that's it.

Dishes are done, but only because of a dishwasher...who-so-ever invented those things was a saint.

Laundry is taking over my own bedroom. It is bad. Very very bad. 3 weeks worth of it, just sitting there taunting me. Today my son actually asked me if the hamper would wash it if he closed the lid. Too bad it doesn't work that way.

My living room is clean tho, and the play room too. Kids' bedrooms aren't even messed up.

I was thinking this morning that I DREAD going home after work, I don't want to finish any of these things that need done. I don't want to even look at them.

So I'm not going home :P

I made some phone calls to some fabulous friends & a night of road tripping on the 4 wheelers is now in order. Maybe, just maybe I will finish my chores tomorrow :)

Facing reality

It took the insane events of the morning to open my eyes to the reality that divorce is never easy. That it sucks to walk away from the one you wanted to spend your life with even when you know it is best for you both. That you can't stop loving someone just because you say outloud that you did. And that once guarded, its nearly impossible to open up you heart entirely to someone that has hurt you.

It was a bad morning, to say the least. And I'm not really sure where to go from here. I don't know who to call, which steps to take. I know I need to take a stand for myself, but I don't want to cause more stress for my babies.

I don't want to live unhappy anymore. But I can't seem to get out of this funk. Well I could...but let's just say its going to be a battle until this divorce is over. Regardless of what happens between me & Todd.

I'm sure its just karma catching up to me, and it will make its rounds back to those hurting me today. But dang it sure would be nice to get a break.

I wish someone had the answers & could tell me which way to go. I wish that I could just leave work & snuggle up with my kids on the couch or in bed with a movie on. I just wish I knew how to make things better, how to feel better, how to not hurt others while I'm trying to keep myself from hurting.

I wish I could just go back to bed

Fell behind on life

But slowly catching up!!!

Quick update is this....

divorce is moving along
Princess may have borken her wrist last week, go for more xrays tomorrow & hopefully the swelling is down enough to tell
Naynen & Carcar are still typical rowdy fun loving boys

County Fair just wrapped up & we all had a good time.
Love my kiddos...they are the light of my life :)