Christmas Countdown has begun!

Wow! It's September!!!

Time is flying by this year.....Christmas will be here before we know it!

So I'm trying to compose my list of things I want to buy/make for gifts (I will add links later, I promise...this is just my "rough draft" lol)

Naynen, Carcar & Princess are all getting rag quilts for their beds, made by me :)
I think the BF is getting one too :)

I really really really want to get the kids a wii

Crafty-wise, I saw a link for family yahtzee the other day. I would love to find 2 more "home-made" games & then each kid gets one :)
Also, something girly for Presley (purse/bag/i have no clue) & some fold up playmats for the boys (a dinosaur one that I was shown a blog link to and then maybe a cars one??)

One other idea for BF but he will have to get it way early, like next week or else he'll end up buying it for himself when hunting starts!!!

Chores? What's that?

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

I love being an adult, I love having kids, I love being a student & I love my job...

I, however, despise household chores.

Last night was a break through moment in my house. I took out trash (in case you didn't know, after sitting in a can outdoors for almost 3weeks, trash stinks BAD), Mowed the half of my hay field -- I mean my yard that was 3 feet tall, and well that's it.

Dishes are done, but only because of a dishwasher...who-so-ever invented those things was a saint.

Laundry is taking over my own bedroom. It is bad. Very very bad. 3 weeks worth of it, just sitting there taunting me. Today my son actually asked me if the hamper would wash it if he closed the lid. Too bad it doesn't work that way.

My living room is clean tho, and the play room too. Kids' bedrooms aren't even messed up.

I was thinking this morning that I DREAD going home after work, I don't want to finish any of these things that need done. I don't want to even look at them.

So I'm not going home :P

I made some phone calls to some fabulous friends & a night of road tripping on the 4 wheelers is now in order. Maybe, just maybe I will finish my chores tomorrow :)

Facing reality

It took the insane events of the morning to open my eyes to the reality that divorce is never easy. That it sucks to walk away from the one you wanted to spend your life with even when you know it is best for you both. That you can't stop loving someone just because you say outloud that you did. And that once guarded, its nearly impossible to open up you heart entirely to someone that has hurt you.

It was a bad morning, to say the least. And I'm not really sure where to go from here. I don't know who to call, which steps to take. I know I need to take a stand for myself, but I don't want to cause more stress for my babies.

I don't want to live unhappy anymore. But I can't seem to get out of this funk. Well I could...but let's just say its going to be a battle until this divorce is over. Regardless of what happens between me & Todd.

I'm sure its just karma catching up to me, and it will make its rounds back to those hurting me today. But dang it sure would be nice to get a break.

I wish someone had the answers & could tell me which way to go. I wish that I could just leave work & snuggle up with my kids on the couch or in bed with a movie on. I just wish I knew how to make things better, how to feel better, how to not hurt others while I'm trying to keep myself from hurting.

I wish I could just go back to bed

Fell behind on life

But slowly catching up!!!

Quick update is this....

divorce is moving along
Princess may have borken her wrist last week, go for more xrays tomorrow & hopefully the swelling is down enough to tell
Naynen & Carcar are still typical rowdy fun loving boys

County Fair just wrapped up & we all had a good time.
Love my kiddos...they are the light of my life :)

Missing Details

I realized just now that the gap in between my last two posts has left out some potentially interesting happenings.

The CNA course didn't work out. But the day it was to start, I was offered a job. Not just A job, but THE JOB of my dreams right now. 3 days a week, decent pay, free chiro care for me & the kids & free massage for me. It fits into my fall school schedule perfectly!

So I was scheduled to start this position next Wednesday but DR B called yesterday & asked me to start tomorrow instead. I am EXCITED!! Flipping OUT OF THIS WORLD HAPPY to have this position.

God works beautifully.

I feel extremely blessed right now & stronger in my spiritual walk than ever before.

The house I picked out is working out, and its right across the street from my parents. I am really really happy about that! AND AND AND its just a few doors down from my best friend :) It doesn't get much better than that when you are going through a rough time.

There's always tomorrow

Man I've been busy today & I am feeling way more stressed than I should be.

Today I have a daycare kid, even tho last Friday was my last day of daycare. (these parents are lucky I am a sucker)

I have done this:
Made lunch
cleaned dining table
swept dining floor
sat mop bucket by sink with the intentions of mopping the dining floor
cleaned up all the drinks DD has purposely dumped on the floor today
entered a jewelry show in the system (my biggest...over $1000 sales!)
given DD a bath after she waded in spilt pediasure
made a listing on freecycle

Left to do:
decide whats for supper that will yield leftovers for my lunch tomorrow
sit out everyone's clothes for tomorrow
get deposit ready to drop oat bank tomorrow
fill out daycare papers for assistance
do laundry
take a bubble bath to destress so I can start my job tomorrow relaxed & cheerful

I'm going to try to take the kids to the ball park this evening too. My cousin has a game, and the kiddos will have fun playing on the playground equipment I think. Its just a block away from our backyard so no harm in giving it a whirl.

I can't believe my babies will have birthdays in ONE WEEK! Naynen is gonna be 5 already! And my little princess is 2....where did the time go?

Its been a while...

There's a lot going on.

There is a word I really dislike...and its the one word my world seems to revolve around right now.
Divorce.
I do not like that word at all.

Amos 3:3 says Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 says Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the Devil? How can a believer partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God's temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: "I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from them and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. Don't touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you. And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."

I have struggled with this decision, and have went back & forth on my choice. But I see no way he & I can move forward together when we aren't on the same path of faith. Our actions and reactions towards one another have been greatly affected by my choice to be involved in the church, and I can't continue to feel like my own spouse is the one wanting to tear me away from Christ.

So today I will be calling yet another family law office. (My attorney from the domestic violence case last year is no longer doing family law....this saddens me, as I trusted him both as my lawyer & as a mentor in my life)

I am working out some minor details. I have a house picked out to rent. I am starting a class on Monday that will get me the CNA certificate and thus I will be able to find a job pretty easily in my area to tide me thru for a while. I had an interview yesterday for an office position. It seems perfect but its entirely God's will, whatever he gives me, I will take.

I am sad that things couldn't have happened differently for me & dh but I gave that issue to God a long time ago. I am at peace with the things of the past and faithful that the Lord will be walking with me & the children all along this journey.